Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Plane rides and Jack Daniels-- Part Deux

With my daughter Lily screaming in the background I truly feel as though I'm writing in the necessary atmosphere to re-create part two of our story. (She's in her crib. Trying to fall asleep. I don't just let them scream for my writing purposes. Usually.)

4 pm-- At the gate and waiting for permission to board. Other passengers are eyeing us suspiciously.

425 pm-- I approach the check-in counter to see if there are any open seats on the plane so that we might bring aboard one or two carseats for the little littles. There is one. But it's because the stewardess who shall not be named moved my husband from his original seat next to me to across the aisle. Something about oxygen masks and two lap kids in the same row. I don't know. What I do know is that they moved my husband across the aisle from us and plunked him down in a MIDDLE seat with an almost two year old. And then the passengers next to him started eyeing him suspiciously. (Rightfully so good friends, rightfully so!)

430 pm-- Our seating arrangement is as follows

Window (Claudia) Middle (Baby seat and Lily) Aisle (Me) -------- Aisle (Poor man who got what he had coming) Middle (Joseph and Claire) Window (Man who is still in therapy)

Joseph and I kept looking at the man who got what he had coming with doe eyes in effort to get him to switch seats, but to no avail. And so... he got what he had coming. He has no one to blame for what transpired but himself. And my child. And maybe the stewardess who shall not be named.

432 pm-- We have already pulled out most of the toys from the bag and Claire is bored with all of them. She wants to run up and down the aisles.

445 pm-- We pull out the dvd player and put on one of her favorite Sesame Street episodes.

446 pm-- Claire apparently hates earphones. Man who got what he had coming hates Claire.

450 pm-- Man who got what he had coming starts ordering JACK DANIEL shots each time the drink cart passes by.

5 pm-- Claire throws a full on fit because Joseph won't let her close the book of the man who is still in therapy.

The next couple of hours are still a bit hazy as I have blocked them from my memory until my mind is in a safe enough place to handle it. Which roughly translated means I probably never will. I do know that Claudia got some type of food poisoning from the chicken/spongy thing she ordered off the "gourmet" menu and that I kept running back to the forbidden land of stewardesses to get more ginger ale, ice, and lemons. (their suggestion. apparently this has happened before.) The people behind me watched bouncing baby head for about two hours and Joseph and Claire well... let's just say the man formerly known as he who got what he had coming changed his name to drunk as a skunk and after four hours we all exited the plane glassy eyed and ten years closer to meeting our maker.

On the way home there were TWO empty seats by us and the girls both rode in their carseats happily for the majority of the ride. Aaaaaah. How about you? Do your littles (or bigs. whatever.) travel better when strapped down? Or do you rely on some other magic ploy?

6 comments:

Tessie said...

Dude, we have never done the carseat on plane thing (YET. AD is about to be two).

I can't help wondering if it's not going to be WORSE, though. She HATES the carseat.

God help me.

moo said...

I've also never done the carseat-on-the-plane thing. While I think for take-off and landing, Gray would be OK with it ... for the rest of the flight I KNOW he would not be. I dread it (and maybe will just skip it, if I can).

You are a brave woman.

Kristin.... said...

We've only flown once, to ITALY, with kids (and then only 2 of them) and it was horrendous. My daughter got plane sick, and there was a mix up with the travel agent and we weren't allowed my 4 MONTH OLD's carseat on the plane. No no, we had to HOLD HIM for the 8 hour flight. It was awful. On the way there he slept (but I didn't) and on the way back he screamed every 2 hours. nightmare.

Danielle-lee said...

My girl just rode on a plane for the first time last week. We used one of those seatbelt thingys that you attach to the plane's seatbelt, so it's like a carseat buckle. Anyway, she hated that, but she did pretty good. I bought some new little toys and books and hid them in my bag, and pulled one out at a time each time she got antsy.
The ride home-she REFUSED the seatbelt and screamed. Which led to her getting her way: climbing on me like I was a jungle gym and looking out the window.

Jaime said...

CAR SEAT ... all the way. They love it. The hardest part is trying to get the toys, pacifiers, lovies, etc. that they inevitably drop. There is also a very good chance they will kick the seat in front of them, BUT they do that even when out of their seat. Totally recommend the car seats. I had all the same worries about my kids when I took them by myself on two different trips and both times they did beautifully in their seats. The seats are a HUGE hassle to get through the airport and security, but you can order a rolling one or a backpack from onestepahead(dot)com - both work wonderfully.

And yeah, don't expect stewardesses to be nice, understanding, or helpful. That way, when you MIGHT find one who is, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Manager Mom said...

Oy. I flew with only one of my kids a few months ago and I still have a car-shaped bruise on my temple. Glad you survived.